Culinary School Almost Destroyed My Love of Cooking

In some ways, I'm going to miss culinary school.

It's not like it's a top-notch school or anything.  In fact, it's a bit underwhelming, truth be told.  But - there is a magic that only happens in commercial kitchens that you can't get anywhere else, and certainly not in your own kitchen.

Some of the kids were pretty great.  I'm what's considered a "non-traditional" student, which basically means I've already passed through puberty twice already. This was serious business for me; not so with some of my brethren and faculty.  This drove me, quite literally, batshit crazy.  I went from zero to Gordon Ramsey on a bad day in about 10 minutes.  That's not like me, either, and left me feeling guiltily akin to a prima donna.

I absolutely love to cook.  I love everything about it.  Truth be told - I love cooking a great meal as much as I do fabulous sex, sometimes more so. It's much of the same thing - building pleasure layer by layer, until everyone is satiated and sleepy.  I'm a cooking slut though - I'll cook for just about anyone, and I volunteer to do the cooking whenever possible - especially if someone else will do the dishes (I hate dishes!).

Culinary school almost killed my passion for cooking though. There's a sort of allure in the alchemy of cooking, a salacity for the uncharted and zesty that draws people like me to the stainless steel and heat of a kitchen. It's genuine magic in the truest and most modern sense. I can take these dirt-covered root vegetables and this fresh baby lamb and make a meal so succulent it literally melts on your tongue.  What I can't do, is convert 1/2 cup into milliliters on the fly.  (This is why we have calculators!)  Surely skill, passion and drive are more important?  Alas, it is not so in Culinary School. I was so stressed out about the details, I couldn't enjoy the process any longer.

I've been out of culinary classes for four months, and am just now starting to enjoy it again. I will miss some of the students and staff, and I will definitely miss the energy of being in the kitchen.  Maybe one of my student friends will invite me to work with them once in a great while, just for the day.
Do they have a "Take-Your-Jaded-Middle-Aged-Non-Traditional-Student-Peer-To-Work-Day"?

Cheers!